This year has been off to a very rough start. I launched my business right around Christmas time, during the Canadian postal strike so things were incredibly rocky there, to say the least.
Also, in January my Grandmother who had been like a second Mother to me had passed away after suffering a decade-long struggle with dementia. She was 98 years old. Though she lived a long life and we tried to make her as comfortable as possible while she suffered through the horrible disease and in the hospital, it was very hard to see her go. Yes, I was there on her last days. Not sure if she recognized me or could even see me, I held her hand as she attempted to be at peace. My brothers and I, plus our significant others and our Aunt all rotated to say good-bye to our precious Nanny. Memories flooded back to me as we made funeral arrangements, and we all shared moments with each other that made us smile or well up with tears. She was a wonderful Grandmother and I hope I illustrated that in a speech I wrote out but was too terrified to read aloud. Thankfully, my older brother was able to deliver it along with his own Eulogy.
So what does the loss of my Grandma have to do with a blog section that primarily has to do with textile design? Well, for starters without my Nanny I wouldn't be here today, and I don't just mean because of genetics, but for many reasons. When my Mom died (and as you all know I have a blog post about that here) my Grandma was able to take me in when I was having some family issues which created some financial difficulties for me as I was not able to work at this time. She not only took me in but also helped to push me towards living in Toronto and away from what had gone on. I know that sounds cryptic but that's as detailed as I'm going to get about that issue. Not only was my Grandmother always there for us as kids, because we lived about a 5 minute drive away from her, but she was also there for me as a young adult, struggling to make ends meet. So though she hated to see her independence taken away from her, we knew she received the best care we could have possibly given her for the last 10 years of her life. She was well taken care of and I would like to think, very comfortable in her remaining years. Even though she was comfy it was still hard to watch her leave us, and I had been struggling to get back into my business again. I must keep going though, if not for myself for her, as she was a very strong and determined individual. My Grandma taught me a little something along the way about fashion much like my Mom did. I learned to appreciate polka dots, for she had a strong attachment to that pattern, as it reminded her of her Father's ties he would often wear. My Nanny sewed a bit, but she also taught me to knit, which I didn't keep up with, though perhaps one day I'll attempt it again in the future, but at least I have an appreciation for fabric and textile production thanks to her. As you could see by the painting I made here of my Nanny back when I was in college, she would wear classic, but subtle patterns like striped T-shirts, houndstooth blouses, etc. On occasion when she wanted to feel glamorous and dressed up she sometimes donned a sparkly ensemble. She wasn't always into standing out though and preferred to remain cozy most of the time and I appreciate that sense of style, as well. She has taught me much in this life time, and although I didn't get to know her the way some people who were older than me were able to, I'm glad I had spent some time with her in her remaining years. Thank you Nanny for everything you have done for me and contributing to my personal growth and the person I am today, you will be heavily missed. R.I.P. <3
